Hey Everybody!!

Hey Everybody!!

Just thought I'd let on that my new single Peace Song is going for adds on June 6!
I enlisted the ultra suave Paul Brown to play some guitar on it and it came out real nice.... Get a preview by clicking here.

And in the spirit of a little fun, below are some

Words to Live By......or Not ....

I have kleptomania
but when it gets bad,
I take something for it.



Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.



Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French


It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is Where:

The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss


It's all organized by the Italians.



Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!


My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


Welcome to Utah
Set your watch back 20 years.


In just two days from now,
tomorrow will be yesterday.


A bartender is just a pharmacist
with a limited inventory.


The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.


I may be schizophrenic,
but at least I have each other.


I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.


Five million people,
Fifteen last names.


Dyslexics Have More Nuf.


Sometimes I even put it in the food.


Preserve the Spotted Owl
(in formaldehyde)




Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln,
how was the play?




When you work here,
you can name your own salary. 
I named mine, "Fred."




Money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch.




Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.




Red meat is not bad for you 
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.




I am having an out-of-money experience.




Corduroy pillows are making headlines!




I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,
not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.




He was in my trunk when I got back from Tijuana